This report from a Westminster University student denied ‘mitigating circumstances’ for his exams following the death of his father underlines the soullessness and bureaucracy of the higher education system.

“If you are going to tell people the truth, you had better make them laugh. Otherwise they’ll kill you.”

In the past months I have heard some people saying that University of Westminster isn’t value for money, these people are just fool. They argue that students in University should pay less money due to its low rank. By saying this, they do not take in consideration the fact that our university is only second to Hogwarts in teaching Witchcraft and Wizardry. From this extra exclusive module you can gain amazing skills such as flying from regent to Little Titchfield Street when you only have got 2 minutes left to submit your coursework, reading your lecturers’ mind so that you can write what they like or being in different places at the same time. These personae non grata do not show any gratefulness to our University for proposing the new secret and experimental module “future predictions and crystal ball modern studies” which apparently I attended this year. Unfortunately, I probably skipped some classes as well as some of those classes on “how to manage your time”. If I had only attended those I probably would have been able to predict my father’s death and I could have better managed my time in order to be able to take the exams that I unreasonably missed.
Moreover, these ungrateful students ignore that values such as equality are paramount in our university: it doesn’t matter if u had some explosive diarrhoea, you were hung over, your dog ate your coursework or your student card, your certificate has been made by your cousin or let’s say your father passed away. We are all equal in front of the MC board and at the moment of the toss. Freedom of opinion is also important in Westminster University: everyone can have his own opinion and his own interpretation of rules. What is more important is that our university is a serious university. University of Westminster does not want students that waste their time and use ridiculous excuses to skip exams. Therefore from this year MC board will be more rigorous: if you have diarrhoea you need to provide some of that if you want to apply for mitigating circumstances, if your dog has eaten your coursework you need to provide some of its faeces and in case of bereavement, you need to provide pictures of the body autopsy report and DNA test. This is the most reasonable interpretation of the rejection of my mitigating circumstances claim which I came up with. Read the following and tell me if you can do better. I submitted certificate of death as well as certified translation!)

Gabriele Piazza

This is the correspondence from the university:

3 June 2009

Reference: 12141166

Name of Student: Gabriele Piazza
Route: Bachelor of Arts (BA) Honours Development Studies And International Relations
Mode of Attendance: full-time

Dear Mr Piazza

Your mitigating circumstances claim was considered by the MC Board at its recent meeting. The Board decided that your claim should be rejected. The following gives reasons for the rejection where noted at the Board:

1EIG401 Comparative European Politics Comparative European Politics :
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You failed to demonstrate that your claim complies with absolute condition e)

Absolute conditions are set out in the Regulations as below: Claims must show how the circumstances:

a) have (or will) detrimentally affect your assessment (e.g. essays, examinations, assignments, in-class tests, projects, dissertations, practical work, presentations, placement or field trip reports, designs, theses);
b) were unforeseen;
c) were out of your control and could not have been prevented ;
d) relate directly to the timing of the assessment affected;
e) meet the relevant specific conditions relating to original documentary evidence;

If you have any questions arising from this decision please contact the Campus Office. If you believe that your case should be reconsidered it may be possible for you to resubmit your claim to the next meeting with additional evidence. A resubmitted claim must fully address the reasons for rejection given in this e-mail. You can access advice, support and guidance on the process for making a Mitigating Circumstances claim from the Students’ Union.

Please note that you may only resubmit your claim if this is within the academic session when the work was due to be submitted. The final deadline for all claims is 20 May 2009

Counselling & Advice
Tel : 0207 911 3261/3140/3232&A40
Email: canda@wmin.ac.uk

Students’ Union
Tel : 0207 911 2724
Email: vpeducation@westminster.ac

.uk

Careers and Student Employment
Tel : 0207 911 5184
Email: careers@wmin.ac.uk, except for Referral Assessment for which the deadline is 8 July 2009

Counselling & Advice
Tel : 0207 911 3261/3140/3232&A40
Email: canda@wmin.ac.uk

Students’ Union
Tel : 0207 911 2724
Email: vpeducation@westminster.ac.uk

Careers and Student Employment
Tel : 0207 911 5184
Email: careers@wmin.ac.uk.

There can be no appeal against the final decision of the MC Board.

Regent Campus Office
On behalf of the Regent Campus Mitigating Circumstances Board